By Lourdes Fernandez

As a parent, you might laugh, or perhaps cry, at the thought of your 22-year-old college graduate taking care of him or herself in what we all refer to as the “real” world. While Jane Georgetown or John UC Boulder may have perfected Wednesday night drinking and the following morning’s hangover during Spanish Literature class, the same social skills and level of preparation may not be readily applicable to the housing search, finding a roommate, or even making friends in a new city. For the average college senior, the expectation of their future lifestyle is an extension of their college experience—this time with money, and perhaps a bigger playground. The only fear gripping these young minds is the rush to getting a job. However, once the offer comes through and that beautiful double-digit number followed by three zeros and a dollar sign preceding it is down on paper, the college student is transported to an idealized vision of post-college life—something like the glamorous lifestyle of Sex and the City. After discussing the post-college experience with eight individuals in their mid to late twenties, perhaps the recent college grad should be prepared for something a little different.

      In addition to offering helpful tips on how to apartment search and select a roommate, young adults in their first five years out of college give some insight into the unexpected. While the first year of moving out on one’s own can be rewarding, after the novelty wears off many 22-year-olds experience an emotional “funk” which can last longer if one is caught unaware.

      Although college students understand on a basic level that responsibilities after graduation increase, they often fail to accurately evaluate their future lifestyle and thus adequately prepare for its ups and downs. Jessie Vangrofsky, a 25-year-old graduate from Connecticut College who is now living in DC, reflected on her first two years out of school and expressed this disparity as her biggest challenge: “…getting over the feeling that ‘This sucks. This is going to be the rest of my life?’” The New York City native described the monotony and responsibility of work as overwhelming at first: “In college if you don’t want to go to class ever, then you don’t. If you want to go get wasted, you can. Now you have responsibilities where not just taking care of yourself but also the things around you because if you don’t do it, then it’s not going to get done. If you don’t go to work, you can’t pay your bills, and no one is going to do it for you.” Another college graduate, 27-year-old Meghan Stasz says about the change, “Time is not really your own. In college you do whatever you want with your time. Maybe you should study but you don’t have to do anything. Now you can’t just not show up.” While the young and newly independent admit that there are perks to post-college life, it doesn’t consist of Manolo Blahnik shopping sprees with friends, $500 bar tabs at the club, and an optional work schedule (unlike that senior spring elective, Underwater Basket weaving, eh, guys?).

      The college freshman has a plausible excuse of naiveté, but it is time to arm the graduating class with useful information and new, realistic expectations for the (until now) elusive real world.

      The first thing to realize is that the housing search is more like an Olympic sport than a final exam that can be crammed for in two days. It might require months of patience, preparation, and friendly matches or a lucky few may walk away with the gold if the opponent missteps, but in either case it is best to arrive with the proper training.

      Whatever the sport, a successful athlete visualizes his or her success step by step before competing; in this way the college grad must visualize what his or her future success in the world will require. One must first know thyself, then visualize and prioritize. There will always be surprises, but knowing your own needs, prioritizing them, and then visualizing if a certain location will meet them can help minimize the more unpleasant ones. At 22 years old, Diem Tran, a graduate from Boston University, found out the hard way that she wouldn’t be happy in Hartford, Connecticut. Diem blames her decision on the pressure of finding a job, “The thing about me is I took my first job offer; I was being pressured from home and didn’t feel I had time to look around and figure out what I wanted. So I thought ‘Okay, I’ll take the job and worry about friends and location later.’ [In hindsight,] I would re-evaluate my priorities.”

      Just like college essay writing, it is a process that benefits little from rushing. First one reads the syllabus’ description of the paper assignment, brainstorms ideas, maybe does some research, and then writes. With the housing search, allow more time than you think necessary, get a feel for the city, ask questions about different areas of the city from those who live there, and know what you can’t live without. Diem, accustomed to Boston’s college scene, now understands that she can’t live without a lively, young, and easily accessible social scene.

Do the leg work.

      Those boots were made for walking. Arooj Sarmi, a new resident of DC says, “It’s really tiring, but you should go through the neighborhood and see where the grocery is, the metro; look and think about exactly what you’re looking for.” There are many ways to strategize, but walking around is how two college kids from Colorado Brian Jackson and Emily Mayer did it. Using the Washington Post classifieds and online websites as preliminary screening sources, they planned their housing search of the city and then took the metro everywhere. According to the couple, fancy apartment photos found online are useful, but then again so is Photoshop so be wary of especially formal or “doctored” images. At the other end of the spectrum, if a room or apartment looks a little dirty online, it will be a mess in person.

Be ahead of the curve.

      Try to get an advance, VIP viewing from the landlord, and to avoid a common headache, go to the house ready to write a check for the deposit. If it’s a group home, bring recommendations, credit report, and a pay stub or proof of employment if available. There is little in the housing search as frustrating as spending weeks finding the perfect apartment and then losing it to someone else because you didn’t think to financially secure the location.

Do the meticulous inspection your mother would perform.

      If she’s available, bring your mother. Otherwise, ask the landlord questions to the point of discomfort. Inspect the bathtub and appliances and make sure they all work. Check for good water pressure. Look for anything that needs fixing and negotiate with the landlord before signing because that’s when you will have the most leverage. Ask the landlord to estimate the heating and or air conditioning costs. Will you have personal control over your apartment temperature? Google the apartment location so that you know in advance if you will be walking 30 minutes to the nearest grocery store or navigating back roads instead of state highways. Flush the toilets. If you are in an older building, ask about the condition of the circuitry. Does it have a tendency to blow if the dishwasher and hair dryer are plugged in at the same time? Ask the landlord about the neighborhood demographic—young, old, rowdy. Ask what is included in the rent, and about the maintenance policy. Check window and door insulation and potential draftiness.

      If there is nothing else you remember, get Renters Insurance. While Renters Insurance varies by coverage plan, you can get it for as little as $100 per year, and covers clothing, furniture, and other properties so that when your neighbor accidentally floods your apartment from above or the building catches fire, your thousands of dollars worth of property is protected.  

      Another source of vexation and anxiety among college graduates is roommate selection. Roommate philosophies are as numerous and varied as the expenses involved in the moving out process; yet one of the repeated pieces of advice and simultaneously surprising ones is that sometimes the best roommate is one whose extended family you don’t know by name. Contrary to what mom or your best friends might think, living with someone you don’t know very well may be to your advantage.

      Meghan Stasz gives some insight, “Making friends out of college is a lot harder so if you live with someone you are best friends with, it limits you building a social network. Living with someone you don’t know well leaves you on your own so you are forced to go out, make friends, and make decisions on your own.” When Brian and Emily from Colorado first moved to DC, they didn’t know anyone else, Emily hated her job, and Brian was still unemployed, so they only had themselves as social outlets and spent a lot of time in their apartment. Jessie Vangrofsky agrees that living with someone less intimate than a best friend is best, but for different reasons. “With a friend, you could cross the line. They won’t tell you about it, and it’ll just boil up…Be friendly, but treat it as a business opportunity…If you just respect each other and pay the bills, you’ll be fine.”

      While nothing will prevent the initial shock of post-college life—the inertia and insignificance of most first jobs, the comparative lack of friends since college life, and the constant responsibility—accepting its inevitability and being ready to respond with action is the best preparation. Instead of becoming paralyzed and depressed, Meghan Stasz says, “First, recognize that the funk is going to happen. You are going to miss college friends, and there will be times when you feel really lonely and feel bad for yourself. Go outside. What do you like to do? I joined an ice hockey team. If people ask you to do things, say yes. You never know. And you never know who you’ll meet. Go volunteer for a weekend or tutor or something. Figure out a way to do something that you really like doing.”

      Besides actively avoiding “the funk,” Jessie Vangrofsky says, “Remember, nothing is permanent,” and that the best part of the experience is “You learn how to be completely strong and independent; being able to fully function knowing that no one is there to catch you [is rewarding].”